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It's safe to say that when you're over 40, the dating scene changes significantly. You are not imagining it. Actually, the challenges of dating for ladies over 40 are extremely specific that receiving targeted advice is critical to finding love with less heartache, pain, and confusion. (Fact: over one-third of american citizens over 40 are single, and more than 25 million seem to be women.)
As a part of the over 40 group of daters, the same dating advice that works for 20 somethings is not always the same advice that you're seeking. Here's why:
As a woman over 40, your main focus isn't necessarily marriage and having babies. You might have already been married, you might already have babies, or maybe neither is true; but each one could be a non-issue. The dating scene has changed significantly since you dated in your twenties. Sexting. Texting. Internet dating. Speed dating. Even matchmaking. All are viable alternatives these days. If you don't understand how to use these tools or have a thought that only "losers" would use them, you may be sabotaging your success dramatically. You aren't sure who to date when you're in your 40s. Could it be appropriate up to now men within their 30s? What about feeling as if you aren't drawn to men in their sixties, the exact men who might be pursuing you the most online? Is it a must to find someone who's how old you are exactly and can recite lines from Gilligan's Island right alongside you? What are the relationship goals? Would you like to get married? Would you like to have kids? Are you simply looking for a serious relationship with Mr. Boyfriend Material?
Whatever your concerns, here are the secrets of our advice for women over 40 in three short but sweet tips!
1. Use your dating experience of an appropriate way.
Whether you recently experienced a messy divorce and have had several long-term relationships and therefore are ready for any relationship, you most likely have some (if not a great deal) of dating experience. Like a dater who is over 40, you need to make sure you don't "leak" any of this energy or knowledge, negative or otherwise, into new relationships you are in.
It's fine to keep in mind things you've learned in past relationships, however it might be a wise decision to check having a dating coach to make sure you're taking the best stuff along with you! Avoiding making assumptions like "It happened before and for that reason must happen again" can impact all your dating discover armed with a clean slate before you jump into the dating pool.
2. Get yourself out there.
Have your pals been encouraging you to join that online dating site? Well, you know what? One out of every four those who are in a committed relationship or married met their significant others on an online dating site.
Remember that there are tons of excellent relationship-ready men who're going to be interested in you, however, you need to meet them first! Joining a Meetup, starting a new fitness routine or creating an online dating site profile are actually great ways to meet great men. Chilling out at a bar every Saturday night? Not too good, so get active on the internet and outside.
3. Be honest about what you are looking for.
Hopefully you are not finding yourself saying such things as "There are no good men available." But if you find yourself heading down that path, grab yourself in the opposite direction immediately. There ARE so many great guys out there!
Because of the multitude of amazing men just waiting to satisfy you, don't end up compromising for someone you believe is "almost good enough." If a person isn't meeting your requirements and you have openly communicated by what those healthy needs are, move ahead.
On the other end from the spectrum, having a list of things you are looking for in a man is great. But be sure you aren't checking people off your potential list since they are missing something similar to "dresses well all of the time" or "cooks just like a gourmet chef." Ultimately, getting stuck in "lack" mentality will keep you feeling disempowered and stuck.
Remember, once you feel confident and know that you're worth an amazing man, amazing men will become magnetized to you. Paradoxically, whenever you think you need to settle, you attract men who you feel are simply "good enough." Get free from this vicious cycle and dig deep to find your "inner awesome" so you can get exactly what you want out of love in your forties.